I don’t know why I get so turned on by the things I do, which are so weird I am not even going to say what they are. I have this same fantasies over and over again. In fact, I can’ t even get turned on at all when I block my mind from thinking of this fantasy. Then I just feel nothing. I am so embarrassed I would never tell my partner about it. What should I do?
Thanks for asking this important question. First thing to know is that everyone has sexual fantasies. Even people who have no consciousness about their sexuality and are completely cut off from their fantasies do in fact have them. Most of us are mystified by our sexuality and your situation is not as unusual as it seems to you. In our culture it is the norm for people to be uncomfortable with the strong sexual fantasies that drive their arousal and desire. This is why the first question people ask a sex therapist is “Am I normal?” Many people are so overwhelmed, ashamed or afraid of their erotic selves that they repress their fantasy life entirely.