Archive for the 'Love Lenses' Category

Have You Really Fallen Out of Love?

Wednesday, August 24th, 2011

by Carl Frankel

Love: the word means different things to different people—and different things to the same person at different times.

What’s in a word? Here are some meanings of “love:”

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Imago Dialogue Process

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011

By Tammy Nelson, PhD

Mirroring, validating and empathizing are a type of dialogue developed by Harville Hendrix, the author of Getting the Love You Want, a book about couple’s therapy.  The dialogue is a structured technique that you can use to talk to each other that helps with communications.  This dialogue has worked for thousands of couples around the world.  It is a way that may help you to talk about conflict and frustration in your relationship.  To practice, ask your partner:

“Is now a good time to talk?”

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Give and Take

Monday, August 22nd, 2011

by Anastasia Strgar

My mother always told me that what people give to a relationship is never even. It is all in direct proportion to what each partner puts in their own box and that it never looks exactly as it should or comes exactly at the same time. Relationships are all about compromising and about breaking down expectations based on pre-conditioned responses.

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Just Talk to Me

Friday, August 19th, 2011

by Elizabeth Spannuth

Communication is the name of the game and we are constantly hearing about how important it is to talk to your partner. “Communicating” is not always pleasant. It might be positive, but not necessarily pleasant. Some subjects can be tough or uncomfortable and some things are just hard to hear coming from a loved one. There are tons of relationship experts out there ready to tell us how to do it, offering tip and tricks for successful interactions. Expert advice can be a fun read, but you really have to find what works for you and your relationship. Warning: this requires being honest with your mental blocks/limitations; a concept that is simple, but not easy.

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How to Create QualityTime

Thursday, August 18th, 2011

By Teagan Shepard

Do you find that, even though you spend a good bit of time with your partner, you just don’t feel that connected anymore? It’s highly likely that quantity doesn’t equal quality for you.

Every so often, and I recommend once a week, do something that both of you enjoy and can connect with. Not sure what to do anymore? Here are a few tips.

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Quit Your Pickin’: How to Complain Instead of Criticize

Wednesday, August 17th, 2011

by Jennie Gill Rosier

Over the last few weeks, all but one of our four cars have stopped being able to get us from point A to point B for one reason or another. (Which, by the way, doesn’t include the Hus’ [aka- my husband's] dream car that’s on jack stands in the garage. So technically, all but one of our five cars don’t work. Why do we have five cars? That’s another story for another time. I digress.)

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Musings on Your Authentic Self

Monday, August 15th, 2011

by Anastasia Strgar

About a month ago, when I was going through my own mini internal crisis, my mom showed me an article  from which Katie Couric posted some of her favorite advice. It was all really good advice, but the one that got me thinking the most was a comment made by Anna Quindlen:

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References Required

Thursday, August 11th, 2011

by Elizabeth Spannuth

I am going through the painful process of sourcing independent health insurance. I have had group insurance for the last 10 years, so initially I was just plain confused by the terms and intricacies of each plan, as well as being shocked by the monthly premium. My insurance agent patiently explained it to me about 10 times and helped clear the fog. Then I started filling out the actual application and my heart sank… They ask for 5 years of medical history and, scrolling through the last 5 years felt something like getting my credit card statement and reliving the last month of my life. You know how it is to dredge up charges from past: that retail therapy impulse buy; that expensive dinner you should have just said no to; and that date you should haven’t bothered with, all come back to haunt you.

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Dr. Romance: Tips on Making your Marriage Last

Thursday, August 11th, 2011

by Tina Tessina

The skills couples need to keep intimacy alive in a long-term relationship differ from new relationship intimacy skills, and they’re not obvious because people don’t talk about them. Most couples need to lower their expectations of romance and glamour and raise the level of fun they have together. Regular weekly talks (I call them State of the Union discussions) keep the problems minor, the resentment level down, and the communication open, so that there is time and space for intimacy. In a successful, long-term relationship, passion becomes a shared sense of humor and goodwill toward each other. I spend every day teaching couples how to do these things.

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Love’s Life: A Balancing Act

Monday, August 8th, 2011

by Anastasia Strgar

My boyfriend, an avid golfer, is playing in a golf tournament this weekend and thus came to me in our new home the other day letting me know that if he’s practicing a lot it’s A) because he loves to golf and B) because he really wants to play well this weekend. However, he also had kept in mind that A) we’re in the process of moving in and B) didn’t want me to feel like my needs from him weren’t being met. I simply told him that I want him to do whatever he feels like he needs to do and that I, when needed, would communicate when I need something from him.

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