I have been married for over 10 years, but my wife and I have an increasingly hard time communicating about sex. She seems fine about it, but I am not. I always thought we would grow sexually over time, but our sex life just seems to get smaller. She has so many dislikes, like receiving oral, she says it will never happen. I just don’t understand why. Could you help me/us. I’m new to this getting help thing. You’re my first attempt.
Our need for love and sexual intimacy is basic to being human; as basic to our well-being as our need for clean water, food, and a decent night’s sleep. We are pleased to be able to provide sound resources, support and answers for your sexual and relationship questions. Feel free to write in to firstname.lastname@example.org to submit your own question about love, sex and intimacy. The loveologist or one of our other sexual therapist resources will write back to you as quickly as possible.
Check out our “Ask the Loveologist!” page for more submission guidelines. We look forward to solving your problems!
by Dr. Tammy Nelson
Is it normal to find sex online? In our current technological culture we use cyber connections to create all of our relationships. We use the internet to manage our social lives, meet new people, and develop both emotional partnerships. Why wouldn’t we find sexual relationships online too?
I just started dating a new man and although I know that there aren’t really any hard and fast rules about how long you should wait to have sex, I don’t know if you can tell me any kind of signs to look for that tells me that it’s too soon or for that matter too long to wait? What kinds of precautions should you take before you open up your relationship to physical intimacy?
by Tinamarie Bernard
When I read a recent blog by Nicole Daedone, founder of OneTaste.com, I had two immediate questions: Are that many women really putting on moan shows when they are having sex, and if so, why?
Here’s what Nicole had to say about faking orgasmic pleasure, which basically, “amounts to lying to your partner. It prioritizes thinking (I should be doing this, I wonder how he’s feeling, etc.) over feeling.” She then goes on to explain the top five reason women do it, including:
by Tina Tessina
1. You can repeat some of the things you did when you were first dating: go back to the first place you met, watch a DVD (complete with popcorn) of the first movie you saw together, go out for lunch at the little café near your old job, or wander through the park.
by Anastasia Strgar
At the dawn of my 23rd year I find myself on a whole new life track. This does not have anything to do with going on a crazy cross country adventure or skydiving over the Grand Canyon or anything like that (although that’d be awesome); it rather, has more to do with finally freeing myself from old negative thinking patterns about life and even more so, myself.
by Anastasia Strgar
Without tooting my own horn, I’d say I consider myself a kind person. I’m actually more likely to put others before myself, but lately, I’ve been working on putting myself first. Mysteriously, I’ve discovered that when I start being nicer to myself, I am better able to recognize the kindness coming at me from all directions… Not only that, but I’m more likely to look at the guy on the side of the street with a cardboard sign with compassion, rather than criticism.
by Kristin Neff
The golden rule tells us that we should treat others as we would want them to treat us. Maybe so, but hopefully we won’t treat them even half as badly as we treat ourselves.
“You’re so lame!”
“What a screw-up!”
“How can you ever show your face in public again!”
by Elizabeth Spannuth
I took advantage of Borders’ going-out-of-business sale and picked up the book, Us: Americans Talk About Love. It is a compilation of interviews with Americans from all walks of life covering the topics of relationships and love. There were no limits on the ages of the participants or how long that they had been in a relationship. The broad perspectives are a mix of entertaining, horrifying, and inspirational.
I have been with the same man for a couple of years and have always had some sensitivity with sex. We always use lubricant but even with that product, it still hurts sometimes when he comes in me too soon. The only thing that I know for sure is that when I have an orgasm before penetration, (which sometimes takes some time) I don’t have pain and can sometimes even have another one inside. Is this normal?