Archive for the 'Dr. Tammy Nelson' Category

Three Steps to Ending An Affair

Friday, August 3rd, 2012

by Dr. Tammy Nelson


You are still hiding the affair. In fact, as you lay in bed with your lover you think about your husband and how much it would hurt him if he knew. You don’t love this other guy, but the sex; well… the sex is great. But you love your husband and you’ve been together for so long. And the guilt kicks in. You get up, throw your clothes on, apologize and rush out the door to get home before your husband knows you’ve been gone.

Or you are sitting across from each other in the therapist’s office. You’re both hurt. She’s crying. You feel lost. Instead of wanting to leave her and end your marriage you’ve decided that the whole affair was a big mistake. But in your heart you know that the affair isn’t over. You’re not sure how to end it. And you’re scared.

How do you end the affair?

There are three steps to ending an affair and really making your marriage work. For all the great advice your friends, family and even well-meaning therapists will give you, these are the three things you need to know to move on and help your marriage survive.

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Recharge your Love Life – Make a Date for Sex

Wednesday, October 19th, 2011

By Dr Tammy Nelson

Many couples have trouble finding the energy to keep up an exciting sex life.  Stress, exhaustion, kids, boredom – they can all lead to lack of enthusiasm in the bedroom.  One way to recharge your love life is to make a date for sex.  Carve out a time for sex in your schedule and put it on your calendar.  Make it the same day or night every week. Does that sound spontaneous? Not really.  But you can be as spontaneous as you want – if you plan it.

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Cyber Sex

Monday, October 3rd, 2011

by Dr. Tammy Nelson

Is it normal to find sex online?  In our current technological culture we use cyber connections to create all of our relationships.  We use the internet to manage our social lives, meet new people, and develop both emotional partnerships.  Why wouldn’t we find sexual relationships online too?

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Imago Dialogue Process

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011

By Tammy Nelson, PhD

Mirroring, validating and empathizing are a type of dialogue developed by Harville Hendrix, the author of Getting the Love You Want, a book about couple’s therapy.  The dialogue is a structured technique that you can use to talk to each other that helps with communications.  This dialogue has worked for thousands of couples around the world.  It is a way that may help you to talk about conflict and frustration in your relationship.  To practice, ask your partner:

“Is now a good time to talk?”

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Conquering and Being Conquered

Wednesday, June 29th, 2011

By Dr Tammy Nelson

Relationships are sometimes about conquering.  We conquer our fears when we conquer the object of our desire. Or we let go of our fear when we allow someone else to conquer us.

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If Your Partner Knows, Is it Cheating?

Friday, June 3rd, 2011

Dr. Tammy Nelson

Studies show that more than half of all women and over sixty percent of men will cheat at some point in their marriage.

This seems like a whole lot of people are having affairs.

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Do All Men Cheat?

Thursday, May 26th, 2011

By Dr Tammy Nelson

Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger cheat on Maria Shriver? Did he feel like he could? Was it because he was the boss of California and the power that comes with being in such a visible position drove him to do it?  Did he also drive a big car?  Nothing seems like a good enough excuse. And the excuse, “well, all men cheat” isn’t true either.

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Does Everyone Cheat? Can Married Couples Stay Faithful?

Thursday, May 19th, 2011

By Tammy Nelson, Ph.D

It seems like in the news every day someone famous is cheating – mostly famous and powerful men cheating on their beautiful wives.  From the outside, these couples look privileged and happy.  They have good looking kids, fame and fortune, and a big house.  So how come they cant stay faithful?

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