Total sexual freedom – the idea that we can love and be loved in ways that don’t fit neatly in a normative box – is different from indiscriminate sex.

From the outside looking in, this might be confused with promiscuity. What’s the difference? I believe promiscuity feeds into and manifests fears, limitations and restrictions. Sexual freedom is about courage.

First of all, fear is a great teacher. And what we fear most about love and sexuality (or anything in life for that matter) is where we have opportunities for growth. Fear that isn’t dealt with can wreck havoc on love of self and love of other. It also interferes with our ability to be conscious in our ‘love – making’ decisions.

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Greenprophet

by Tinamarie Bernard

Get your green vibe on with adult toys that are safe, pleasurable and eco-aware.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, now is the time to educate yourself about what makes a pleasure aid green before you surprise your beloved with that extra-special something. From the ins and outs of vaginal lubrication to designing a vibrator of Amazonian proportions, many manufacturers are now offering uncompromising pleasure with the wellbeing of your health and the planet in mind. When it comes to sex toys specifically, things get a bit trickier. In part that’s because social morays in the Middle East are more conservative and what is Halal for some isn’t the same for others.

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by Tinamarie Bernard

When I read a recent blog by Nicole Daedone, founder of OneTaste.com, I had two immediate questions: Are that many women really putting on moan shows when they are having sex, and if so, why?

Here’s what Nicole had to say about faking orgasmic pleasure, which basically, “amounts to lying to your partner. It prioritizes thinking (I should be doing this, I wonder how he’s feeling, etc.) over feeling.” She then goes on to explain the top five reason women do it, including:

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by Tinamarie Bernard

The emerging field of ecosexuality takes cues from many viewpoints and philosophies. There are the practical aspects, like using eco-friendly lubrication, or eating the right sort of foods. Equally important to the fundamentals of ecosexuality is the idea of consciousness; that every choice we make has an impact on the planet and ourselves. In order for humanity to birth itself to the next level of awareness, we must visualize a future that is compatible with the values of love and peace, sexual healing and freedom, and global planetary stewardship.

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by Tinamarie Bernard

“Women over forty have a very clear picture of who they ARE, but a distorted idea of what they actually LOOK like.” – Jillian Todd, photographer

One of the best-kept secrets of women’s lives is that as they age sex gets better. Breasts may sag, tummies may flab, and butts may drag, but none of that really matters in soft candlelight and a warm bed.  With childbirth complete, a woman can finally focus on making love free of the nagging worries of unwanted pregnancy. That release of anxiety often gives way to a great acceptance and exploration of sensual fantasies.

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by Tinamarie Bernard

When one is young, the idea of a real and abiding love tends to resemble a fairy tale, and there is little room in the predictable lines of a storybook romance for the messy truths that adults sometimes find themselves in. That is because love, by its very nature, surprises. It thrills and moves us in ways unimaginable, and sometimes that means our heart is tugged in two directions; without any mal-intent, it pulses to the melancholic pop melody, “torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool…”

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by Tinamarie Bernard

I just finished reading the seminal best-seller, Sex at Dawn, a book that turns all our ideas about human sexuality upside down, with a slap (for its intellectual discourse) and a tickle (for its sharp humor). As a species, we’ve been pulverized, culturalized, and civilized (some might argue in defiance of this), our sexuality wrapped up tight in a prude little bow, only to discover that we don’t hump like animals at all. Oh no, we are far more carnal than our primate cousins, with the exception of the bonobos, who live in a jungle more lush, fragrant, and peaceful than any we’ve built in our concrete labyrinths.

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