I started my book , Love that Works with a quote by Sigmund Freud. He said, “Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.”
In my mind the words are interchangeable. There is no love that exists without the work of giving our heart. While there are moments in life, sometimes even a string of them, where romantic love catches you off guard and spins you upside down so that it nothing feels like work, this biologically driven state of falling in love is altogether a different animal.
This feeling is certainly prized and coveted for its own unique and unforgettable intensity where the world is beautiful and we are generous and open. This is the rush of blood to the head, the reason we procreate. Equally valuable but less well understood is the art of generating love like energy. It isn’t pushed so much by our hormonal biology as that of our heart. We have to become intentional and decisive about loving someone over time.
It is dead soon to those who think that love will be easy for them or that it is always fun. It can be fun, but more like the fun of working hard to build something.
Many people struggle to feel the love coming at them. You can learn to open up to love if you want to, as well. The book that I wrote over four years was, in essence, the diary of my own work. It is an ongoing job. But the more that I give up the idea that it should be anything less than it is- I lose my chance to see and feel this moment. As soon as I walk away from right here, the idea of the future or the regrets of the past take over reality. It is nothing but speculation on either side.
Join me on this learning journey, which endeavors to discover love that works in our lives.