Archive for the 'Ground: Your Thoughts' Category

Teaching Love in the Class Room

Thursday, July 26th, 2012

One of the greatest gifts of the work I do is hearing the inspiring stories from our readers about how they make love work in their personal lives and career.  Learning how to receive the goodness and love surrounding us is a lifelong process and, even as children, we must learn that we are worthy and loveable.  Here is one fine teacher’s method which could be adapted to your own family.  Thanks for sharing it with us…

“I retired from the elementary classroom last year after 36 years, most of them with 11 and 12 year-old students.  Love that age and the changes that occur during the grade 6 year.  Every year, usually on a drab January or February Friday afternoon, I would hand out an index card to each student and have them put their name on one side.  I collected them. Then, sworn to secrecy, I gave the rules:  1.  you will get a card, not your own, and I want you to peek at the name and then write one compliment on the other side anonymously.  It could be about a strength or anything that makes this person special or unique. 2.  After this activity, try really hard not to tell the person what you wrote, even if it’s a best friend.

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National Abandonment

Friday, April 27th, 2012

Perhaps the single most devastating emotional pain we suffer is abandonment. Millions of children know this experience as their primary relationship to their parents, and the effects are wide-ranging and long-lasting.  Abandonment is rarely about the person being left,  it is most always a reflection of what is broken in the person doing the leaving.  Yet the abandoned person rarely perceives this, instead the message of unworthiness  and the belief of being  fundamentally unlovable is planted deep inside of us. Almost like a dormant genetic trait in the human genome, most of us seem to carry the potential for this erroneous belief. Tragically, most of us also have plenty of opportunities that trigger it.

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How We Lose

Wednesday, January 4th, 2012

“Courage is not simply one of the virtues- it is the form of every virtue at the testing point.”  -C.S. Lewis

I can’t get the Stanford kicker, Jordan Williamson, out of my heart.  Watching him struggle to maintain his composure with the game on the line, not once but twice and each time coming up short was for me the most heartbreaking moment of the game.  He missed only two kicks in the whole season and I imagine, of the thousands of footballs that he has kicked in his short life, most all of them were on target. He sobbed at the end of the game, the media blaming the loss of the game on the kicker.

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The Collapse of the Honey Bees

Tuesday, November 8th, 2011

Half of all the honey bees on the planet have died in recent years.  A startling fact when you consider not only the impact that this has on the food chain and our food supply, but the even deeper metaphor that this represents for our culture.   The disappearance of the bees has been named “Colony Collapse Disorder”  and one well-known bio-dynamic bee keeper featured in the new film by Taggart Siegel,  Queen of the Sun, commented that the bees are actually showing us that this disorder is our own.

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Embodied Emotions

Monday, September 19th, 2011

Monday mornings often create this jarring emotional space in me. I am never fully prepared for the alarm and especially on weeks that are looming with large events, I wake with uncertainty and sadness. I don’t always know where my sorrow comes from, sometimes I have a clear and ready story about some injustice perpetrated or received. But more often lately it is just another color that lives in me that needs space to breathe and a compassionate regard.

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Be Kind to Yourself

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011

“This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.”

This is a mantra that Kristin Neff, author of Self Compassion shared on my radio show recently when I asked her how can one be kind to oneself.

Self Compassion is an eloquent mix of  strong social science research and her own personal stories of discovering the power of self- kindness during the discovery and healing process with her son’s autism. She was drawn to the idea of compassion early in her career when she began a Buddhist meditation practice and she witnessed the powerful shifts that came through practicing compassion. This experience lead her to create an empirical system to measure and research compassionate behavior.

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Why Self Soothing Helps

Sunday, August 21st, 2011

The first time I learned of the idea of self soothing, I was reading a parenting book and trying to let my first child settle herself to sleep. I was more upset than she was that evening, gripping the door knob, willing myself to not open it and go in to soothe her. Awash in my own inability to self soothe,  I cried as she whimpered herself to sleep. That night provided only a glimmer of the power that comes from being able to hold onto and soothe yourself in your own pain and suffering.

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Love is How We Sustain

Wednesday, May 25th, 2011

“We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children. “ ~Native American Proverb

I was just at the GreenFest in Seattle over the weekend where we were selling our organic and all-natural love products.  Some people were surprised to see a company like ours promoting sustainable love.  Some people walked by averting their eyes as though we weren’t there. More than a few people openly admitted to the demise of their intimate lives. It is tragically not uncommon for people to co-exist with no shared intimacy for years.

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