Great summary of a complex yet deeply important angle on healthy sexuality. Our human urge to sexuality and the myriad ways we play it out, or don’t, carry an intrinsic burden of guilt and shame. I mean let’s face it, as much as I enjoy my late night dates with my husband, I couldn’t describe the event, without turning a deep red, even, bizarrely, if I am describing it to him. I mean, we can both say, “that was great.” or “Wow… ” or “God, I love you… “, but when I go too far into descriptors, I start to wonder if I could write erotica.
Some of my fantasies would qualify I think, but still, I’m not quite able to pen them with my own name attached. For me it was a great breakthrough, just allowing my fantasies to have a space in my mind. I was surprised to find how much that imaginative part of my mind, going places that I couldn’t anticipate, could heat up my ability to be sexual. I have reviewed some books on erotica and truly marvel at the collected authors’ comfort in sexual descriptive writing.
Humor and levity are the fertile ground that allows for a safe enough space for fantasies to flourish. A recent study reported that couples that laugh together during sexual intimacy have sex for a longer time, with greater frequency. It’s true and satisfyingly so, laughter is a close relation to the joyous freedom of orgasm.