Comments on: The Curious Connection Between Pain and Pleasure

By: Angela

Angela — Mon, 30 May 2011 15:12:37 +0000

thank you for sharing this..

By: Sherri

Sherri — Sun, 22 May 2011 03:04:08 +0000

Wow! Great article. Incredibly healing and clarifying for me. I am a person who has always used dominance/submission and pain fantasies to orgasm by myself rather than masturbating. There have been times that I have been worried that this was somehow harming my sexual health and relationships. Your article makes me feel healthier. At age 40, although single, I am feeling sexually vibrant and although I enjoy sex without these aspects and have the capacity to love deeply, I accept that sometimes wanting pain as part of my sexual experiences is normal.

By: eric

eric — Sun, 22 May 2011 02:53:22 +0000

I think that pain and pleasure are mixed on a banal level, leading to a widespread interest in BDSM. However, long term relationships survive because of the willingness to take the good with the bad, and the patience to work through the tough times with a commitment to the relationship. I think many people flee these relationships not because of the pain with the pleasure, but because of the expectations they have for such relationships as lacking pain. We all become vulnerable to our lovers, either long term or not, and many seek to avoid pain for many not unjust reasons. Sadomasochism has many more banal roots, and is far more basic than the complexities of a life-long relationship. This is an interesting topic which leads to much curiosity as to peoples relationship with pain, and the differences between “good” pain and “bad” pain.