Archive for the 'Featured' Category

How to Feel Lovable

Friday, August 1st, 2014

mistymorningOne of my all time favorite quotes by the Buddha is:

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” And yet,  this is often the most challenging part of our development, coming to believe in our own lovability. Yet, when it comes down to it there is no other single more powerful fix to our relationships and even life in general than coming to a practice of loving ourselves.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Engagement Gap

Friday, August 1st, 2014

runningcouple“The real measure of our lives may ultimately be in the small choices we make in each and every moment.”  -Jim Loehr 

 

Recently, I decided to try out a new yoga teacher and was forced to notice just how much resistance I had to changing my routine. In fact it took me weeks to actually finally get to that new studio. The first time was the hardest, but every week afterwards, required a little inner cajoling to go back. Adding something new to our routine is harder than it seems on first glance, and getting ourselves to change how we do our days takes concerted effort. In part, interrupting our routine requires that we literally change how we think and considering that for most of us, 95% of our thoughts are the same ones we had yesterday and the day before that, this is no small thing.

Read the rest of this entry »

Flexing Your Love Muscles

Friday, July 25th, 2014

coupledoor4 “Love is natural, but loving well doesn’t come naturally.”  -Rachel W., Love Agent

 

Celebrating the joys and successes of people we love is a more powerful glue of connection than providing support or consolation for life’s challenges and disappointments. Equally powerful are the small ways that we intentionally communicate to our partners how they hold a special place in our life and hearts. Ironically, this is where many relationships fall short. It was a Love Agent’s feedback that made me think about this simple, yet often overlooked aspect of loving someone else.

Read the rest of this entry »

Saying Yes

Friday, July 18th, 2014

carcouple“Dream as if you’ll live forever.  Live as if you’ll die today.” -James Dean

 

It takes a lot of courage to get what we want. It seems counterintuitive, but I witness how many people refuse the goodness coming towards them, the goodness that they created themselves.   It’s like there is some default setting on our hearts that clicks off right when we get to the edge of what we have been striving for. In retrospect, we could go back to those moments and realize it would have been just one change of mind that would have altered the course of events. Getting to that different way of seeing and lifting the veils from our perspective is the most challenging, yet gratifying work in which we can engage. It is the way we change the fundamental feel of our life and it starts by saying yes.

Read the rest of this entry »

Does How We Live Affect How We Love?

Thursday, July 10th, 2014

family3“The great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort and independence, lies in the fact that people close their hearts and become selfish.” -Pope John Paul II

We are the country of grand experiments and the only constant is change. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the ways we are witnessing the disintegration of the traditional family unit. I inherited my father’s AARP subscription and the cover story of this month’s issue featured a special report on the New American Family and detailed how we live now. The trends cited are important not only because they reflect how families are formed now, but even more because they provide important implications for what is to come. While the Baby Boomer generation has created a wave of cultural changes, the most impactful may be the close to 50% divorce rate statistic, which makes them the generation with the highest divorce rate in the 20th century. Indeed, their influence is clear as families consisting of married couples with kids are now less than half of what they were in 1970 and children born to unmarried women has jumped from 5% to 41%.

Read the rest of this entry »

Dying For Love

Thursday, July 3rd, 2014

earthheart“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” -Margaret Mead

 

Of all the sciences, the one that is most compelling to me is Quantum Physics. A year ago I went to this remarkable Science and Non-Duality conference, where leading PhD quantum physicists convened with spiritual teachers, confirming the scientific theories, which support the ancient teachings that we are indeed all one. Accepting and understanding how we are all connected in this vast, ever expanding universe of benign energy is the context which makes the idea of a love centered revolution possible. A movement of Love Agents creating a stream of intentional loving acts will subtly, yet definitively shift the collective consciousness to the truth of our interconnectedness. And the idea that a relatively small group of people can become a catalyst for change and impact the larger whole has been proven time and again. Arguably, in the name of love, there may not be a more opportune moment to intervene than right now.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Power of Love Missions

Friday, June 27th, 2014

breakfastinbed“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.”  -Albert Schweitzer

 

One of my favorite teachings in the Buddhist tradition is how love is transmitted between a teacher and a student. It is often described as a seed of loving intention that is planted in the heart and mind of the initiate, which, with attention, will grow into a life of the dharma. In truth, this is probably what sparked the idea of creating love missions. I don’t think it is a stretch to consider most of the missions that Love Agents will carry out as teachings in kindness. Bringing a gentle willingness to the ways we think, communicate and show up for our relationships doesn’t take much more time or effort than our usual interactions, yet it is often something easily overlooked.  Deliberate acts of kindness teach both the giver and receiver by helping them to recognize how love feels in the moment. Love Agent missions are designed to create a heightened level of intentional attention to these moments so we can become cognizant of the visceral shift that occurs in the moments we experience love.

Read the rest of this entry »

Growing Up in Love

Friday, June 20th, 2014

holdinghands6“In the last minutes of your life, it won’t matter what you have collected, where you have travelled, how much you have in the bank.  The only thing that will matter to you is who you loved and who loved you back…” 

 

If you have ever met me in person, it is likely that by the end of our conversation I may have said these words to you. I live my life by them and am convinced that the purpose of our lives is to learn how to love. And yet, on the face of it, we often are so consumed with the daily activities of earning our living, dealing with difficulty, and self-medicating our unnamed and unexpressed emotional injuries that paying attention to our loving relationships ends up last on the list. This might be in part because loving people is hard work, and often work for which we are unprepared, both in experience and education. Put simply, we often don’t recognize the opportunities for the applied practice that love demands.

Read the rest of this entry »

Becoming an Agent of Love

Friday, June 13th, 2014

springfam“Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible – it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.” –Barbara de Angelis

Becoming more intentional in your life, especially when it comes to matters that engage our emotional intelligence and heart opening is the only path to a meaningful evolution and aging process. In human social systems, the idea of agency or becoming an agent has to do with our ability to make choices, as opposed to some predetermined destiny. It embraces the idea that we have the capacity, and some might argue the responsibility to make decisions and enact them on the world.

Read the rest of this entry »

Creating a Social Movement of Love Agents

Friday, June 6th, 2014

handhold“Love can, in fact, reinvent the world.” -Wendy Strgar,

Blogging days are over. And as much as I love to ponder and write about what it takes to make love real, it is clear that this weekly monologue of mine about sustainable love must evolve into something that actually impacts the experience of love in the world. Lucky for me that I met a social movement architect who has helped us conceive of the first organic love movement of its kind built on individual acts of love. The truth is that every time any one of us does something deliberately loving for someone else, it creates an energetic transmission that enlarges the emotional capacity of both the giver and the receiver; and while I have been writing for years about good ideas for getting there, it is time to enlist the legion of all of you, who have been reading (thanks for opening all this time) and turn you into certified Love Agents.

Read the rest of this entry »