We don’t listen well in general and maybe that’s because we were all trained from an early age to listen with the intent to respond, rather than listen with the intent to understand. I am guilty of this relationship infraction on most days. In part it is because on many days, I still have a deep need to be heard. Like many people, I often learn what I think as I say it to someone who cares about me, which is not surprising because it is in this safe holding of our thoughts and feelings that we often feel most loved. This is not a shameful thing, although I have often felt ashamed that I am not better at reciprocating in this way. Knowing something is true and being good at it are not one in the same.