Archive for the 'Earth' Category

Engaging Our Breakthroughs

Friday, August 22nd, 2014

nightsky2“…Having breakthroughs isn’t the point.  Living them is.  Seeing in a new way is only the beginning.” -Martha Beck

 

I find myself sobbing in a bathroom stall in the Chicago airport on my way to a meeting across the country, thinking “has it really come to this?” Grief catches up to us in unexpected places and times. The airport bathroom scene was triggered by sitting near a young family with four kids on the plane I had just unboarded, recognizing the finality of my active mom days that has shaped my world for over 25 years.  It occurred to me, as I walked the endless corridors between gates, that we spend the first half of life building, acquiring and creating what we are then required to let go of in the second half. On some moving walkway an emotional breakthroughs comes through me, unannounced like the change of the sudden thunderstorm over head, and I realize that this grief of mine is a privilege that I earned. This breakthrough in thinking lifted me and gratitude replaced my despair.

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Let Love In

Friday, August 8th, 2014

gratefulgirl5“I know what I have given you.  I do not know what you have received.” -Antonio Porchia

 

Perhaps the most salient recognition that we can make about our relationships is that we have no real control over what someone else receives from us, and moreover, often we are not even aware of how our love is transmitted to someone else. This explains the strange yet common phenomenon of long-term relationship’s endings and the surprising conversations, which demonstrate this very fact. Two people who inhabit a single relationship are often in two very different relationships.

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Flexing Your Love Muscles

Friday, July 25th, 2014

coupledoor4 “Love is natural, but loving well doesn’t come naturally.”  -Rachel W., Love Agent

 

Celebrating the joys and successes of people we love is a more powerful glue of connection than providing support or consolation for life’s challenges and disappointments. Equally powerful are the small ways that we intentionally communicate to our partners how they hold a special place in our life and hearts. Ironically, this is where many relationships fall short. It was a Love Agent’s feedback that made me think about this simple, yet often overlooked aspect of loving someone else.

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Saying Yes

Friday, July 18th, 2014

carcouple“Dream as if you’ll live forever.  Live as if you’ll die today.” -James Dean

 

It takes a lot of courage to get what we want. It seems counterintuitive, but I witness how many people refuse the goodness coming towards them, the goodness that they created themselves.   It’s like there is some default setting on our hearts that clicks off right when we get to the edge of what we have been striving for. In retrospect, we could go back to those moments and realize it would have been just one change of mind that would have altered the course of events. Getting to that different way of seeing and lifting the veils from our perspective is the most challenging, yet gratifying work in which we can engage. It is the way we change the fundamental feel of our life and it starts by saying yes.

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All of Me

Friday, May 23rd, 2014

dancingcouple“Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections…” -John Legend

Sometimes I begin believing that my philosophy of love and relationships is so outmoded that I am an oddball relic from some historic past when love reigned. And then, just like that, out of one of my teenagers’ room, I hear a new song wafting under the door and it catches me in the hall – knowing the voice but not having heard these words before. John Legend’s new ballad “All of Me” has been playing in my head for days now. I wake up in the morning with his soothing tenor voice serenading the start of my day. I think it has been on constant repeat because a few of the lines could be used to define what we do for love when we are open to its power to transform us into the best version of ourselves.

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Mothering Ourselves

Friday, May 9th, 2014

momngirls“Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.” -Meryl Streep

 

If you haven’t yet seen the replay of Kevin Durant dedicating his MVP award to his mother, I urge you to look for this rare, heartfelt tribute to mothering. The selflessness that this NBA star demonstrates for those who have held him up is a direct testament to the loving embrace in which his mother held him. This is the kind of mother’s love that Abraham Lincoln referred to when he said, “All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother.” Truly, a mother’s love is the first love we know and unlike any other relationship we ever have. Those who are born into such a love walk through life differently than the rest of us. The ground under their feet is somehow more solid and the inevitable injuries of life don’t stick in quite the same way. People well loved by their mothers approach relationships differently too, they have more of themselves to give and need less.

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Can You Change?

Friday, April 25th, 2014

desert “Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you.” -Phillip Shepherd

 

I still remember the summer afternoon I met my designer, Benjamin, who has made my work beautiful and real since 2010. He had never answered a Craigslist ad before, but some kind of synchronicity occurred and he called me to set up a meeting, as he was coming down from Portland to sign up another much larger client. He walked into the little house we then used as our office. It was hot because the windows were stuck and closed in the heat. He looked me squarely and asked simply, “Can you change?” I sat for a moment, considering and then said, “Yes, I can change. I think so.” This is the only real question that defines every relationship we are part of, including and most importantly, with ourselves.

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To Be Yourself

Friday, March 7th, 2014

beachwomanresized“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Tomorrow starts my tenth Natural Products Expo West show, and yesterday, as I was setting up my booth space I was overcome with both the sweet memories of the decade past and the recognition of the vast shift that has happened to this industry. I started out with many of the best-known national brands in their early stages. We had parties on rebuilt buses and caroused late into the night, sharing inspiring stories of product discoveries, marketing mistakes and miraculous sales opportunities.  Brands then were individuals with a passion.  Those days are mostly gone as venture capital and corporate takeovers have remolded the landscape and feel of the natural products space. Maybe it is because I am a late bloomer and am just now prepared to take the bold steps of capitalizing Good Clean Love that I am so keenly aware of this shift, or maybe it is the immensity of this expo circus that left me reeling. Whatever it was, I found myself in tears, lost to my sense of accomplishment and direction, coming up short to everything around me.

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Curing the Valentine’s Effect

Friday, January 31st, 2014

rosepetalfeet“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.” -Thomas Merton

 

Ashley Madison founder, Noel Biderman once told me that the biggest  day of his year is the day after Valentines day. More women sign up to cheat on their marriages on this day than any other, which is no small thing coming from a guy whose website generates $25K every hour of  every average day. The Valentines effect is so potent and inspires so many break ups because the holiday shines a light of authentic, genuine connection that makes our disappointment and frustration in our lovers inescapable. Mind you, those feelings are often percolating for months, or even years, but it is not uncommon for cultural celebrations of love (Christmas and Mother’s Day are not far behind) to clarify and maybe even exaggerate what is broken between us. Many might argue that the Hallmarked and arguably unrealistic expectations for a single day to capture what needs to be done all the time doesn’t help. But the truth is that we all long for a gesture- a perfect gift or carefully penned card to heal the rifts that live between us; for all the many ways our acts of love go unappreciated, unrecognized or worse still unreciprocated day after day.

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Celebrating Your Senses For the New Year

Friday, December 27th, 2013

beachwomanresized“Lose your mind and come to your senses.”  -Fritz Perls

I was blessed to find myself soaking in the tropical waters in Hawaii this month and remembering again how simple life can be when we live through our senses rather than through our mind. My most magical moments were floating, fully immersed in the gentle surf with only my face exposed to the warmth of the sun.  There were no thoughts that could hold me here with my senses fully  captivated and charged by the most basic elements of the world.  I am home now, and as I prepare to move  Good Clean Love out of the small home it has occupied for 7 years into our new professional warehouse and colorful office space,  I am reaching back to the magical moments immersed in feeling to guide me. So I offer here as we celebrate letting go of the old and moving into a new year some of the ocean’s abiding lessons.

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