The story that has shifted the mainstream consciousness of sexuality is about a young beautiful virgin, who doesn’t recognize her own beauty and a deeply troubled young man, that channels his childhood pain and extreme wealth into a fringe sexual lifestyle that verges on violence. The plot twists and turns around submission and dominance, one of the oldest and most common fantasy themes in human history. How this story shifted the sexual landscape of our culture and has captivated the attention of millions reveals the singular most significant truth of our collective human sex drive: our access and witness to our fantasies is where our sexual motor either revs up or languishes. The dynamics of sexual dominance and submission has been transacted throughout our ancestry so many millions of times; it is no wonder that Fifty Shades of Grey taps this deep nerve of our collective sexual history.
Archive for the 'Sexual Health & Education' Category
Physical intimacy doesn’t just feel good…. Making love is good for you as shown by hundreds of major medical studies. These studies are suggesting that an active sexual life may lead to a longer life, better heart health, a healthier immune response, reduction in chronic pain symptoms, lower rates of depression and even protection against some cancers.
The key to many of these qualitative life-shifts from lovemaking is the release of oxytocin, which influences everything from regulation of body temperature to wound healing, pain-relief, and the development of emotional bonds.
Lovemaking is also an excellent form of aerobic exercise which tones the heart, can burn as much as 200 calories, and is equivalent to running for 30 minutes. Studies show that men who have sex twice per week have half as many heart attacks as men who have sex only once per month. In fact, a regular love life has been shown to extend one’s life by as much as ten years.
Frequent lovemaking also boosts levels of immunoglobulin, key immune cells that fight infection. These physical effects are matched by the powerful emotional healing of lovemaking. A strong sex life will calm anxiety, ease fears and break down inhibitions. Sexually active people are also significantly less vulnerable to depression and suicide. In addition, sexual activity dulls the chronic pain of migraines, arthritis and back pain.
So go on, have a little good clean love and report back on how much better you feel.
Lubrication is a fact of life. In any relationship where working parts are at play, whether it be an engine, a dinner party or an evening of love, everything works better when it is well oiled. Lubrication allows for glide, ease and effectiveness. When lubrication is working well, it is invisible, a thought we don’t have. When it isn’t working, we know it immediately, although not always by its name. An engine without oil locks up in minutes, awkward silence and uncomfortable gazing down into the lap is immediately recognizable.
Lacking lubrication in intimacy can take on multiple forms and occur for a myriad of reasons. Age, childbearing and nursing and some medications are often the cause of vaginal dryness and its associated pain in sex. Often this physiological issue is accompanied by a lack of sexual drive because our natural lubrication also acts as a sign that we are aroused. I remember in my teens and twenties when vaginal wetness was a fact of life and arousal happened sometimes without even noticing it. Those body memories are stored deep in our psyche, and the good news is that triggering them can be as easy as finding the right lubrication.