The truth is that you never see the hard times coming towards you. We are just walking through life, expecting this day to turn out kind of like yesterday and grave illnesses, accidents, and job losses all come like an unexpected blow to the head. My son is in the middle of one of those times now and I am reminded again that a mother is only as well as her least well child. Even at 18 and a head taller than me, I wake up in the night hearing his incessant cough and feeling the same dread I did when he was sick at 7. What comes clear in the fog of no sleep is how much we have to be grateful for when we are well.
Watching him wrangle with this illness reminds me of my own recent bout with a serious infection last spring and how hard it was to not be afraid and let my thoughts slip into a negative bias. Anxiety is the cloak we wear when we are sick and it takes a great deal of support to pull ourselves out of that dark space over and over as our body works to heal. You have to want it and its weird how easy it is to give up, to not fight for our health.
So, even with all the millions of projects going on around me, remodeling bathrooms, launching Love Agent headquarters, building new products, the thing that keeps me up at night is the realization that it is the smallest things that we don’t usually even think of that matter most. Feeling fit and strong, being able to sleep well through the night, food that nourishes us, people who care about us when we are low. These are the greatest gifts and the foundation of life that lets us spend time on other things.
Giving thanks for this wake up call and praying for healing.