The mass shootings that are taking the lives of innocent people in schools, movie theatres and shopping malls are occurring at such regular intervals that no matter what side of the gun laws you sit on, we all share a palpable fear of the out-of control vulnerability of living so closely among so many. The mental instability and the anguish that goes unanswered belongs to all of us as we learn over and over again through these senseless acts of violence. Yet we also seem to be frozen and unable to have mature, rational discussions about taking steps to safeguard our society from the unfortunate and deadly encounters between the proliferation of guns and mental illness.
Archive for the 'Positivity Quest' Category
The only way out is through. I am not the first to say it and tonight it was my wise son who reminded me what I have always taught him and his siblings: that it is only with the courage to communicate and willingness to become vulnerable that releases us from our past injuries. It is an active process, this letting go, which commits you to becoming emotionally intelligent. Learning to recognize and name the basic emotional currency of our daily lives is fundamental to allowing life to move through us and not get stuck in the stories that can easily come to define us.
I have learned how to care for myself. Yesterday was a painful experience of witnessing and releasing some of the hardest aspects of my childhood. I am grateful to know I am not being held by the story anymore and what a fortunate circumstance to have a chance to enjoy the gifts of being American that I have only enjoyed once before. Our nation’s capital is awash in cultural richness. Within blocks any citizen of the world can witness the Hope diamond, a massive diamond necklace, a gift from Napolean to his wife Josephine, bigger than life skeletons of T-Rex and other Dinosaurs. At the National Art Gallery, Michelangelo’s David-Apollo is on tour. Rembrandts and Renoirs. A museum founded, built and furnished with old 1% money that was invested in cultural legacy by Andrew William Mellon (1855-1937) and his family.
I came to celebrate my mother’s 75th Birthday. I was committed to not making it worse. I was just aiming for 5% better. The thing about letting go of the past is that you have to be willing to experience the emotions to release them. Anything else is a lie, a cover-up, a turning away. I came to let go of the past and be with my mother as she is. I wanted also to apologize for the disrespect and disregard I have held her in my own defensive postures. I wanted to say I was sorry that I couldn’t value what it took for her to do what she did in her life.
A new friend reminded me today that the patience and tenderness that I seek for my estranged family is in reality a search for love in myself. Most of us have been confused by the idea that forgiveness is primarily an action we offer for others. This is the juncture where we lose our intention to love, because we believe that by forgiving other’s trespasses, whether deliberate or accidental, we let them off the hook. So instead of allowing ourselves to experience our own vulnerability again, we close off our hearts, unknowingly locking the hurt inside of us. In truth, forgiveness is not a free pass for others’ mistreatment of us, rather it is a release of that internal damage. Other people might benefit from our letting go, but the depth of the action’s healing is freeing ourselves from the past wrongs others have committed against us.
I am traveling on the East Coast, which is where I was born. In the past, my visits have left me bewildered, lost in old stories and lost to the self I was trying to grow into. Each time I visit now I feel acutely aware that this might be my last try at making peace and accepting the past for what it is. So here I am again with a singular focus of being the person I aspire to be.
One of the most powerful ways that my positivity quest has evolved lately, is in my aspiration and dedication to befriend the present moment. Today I had plenty of opportunities to practice as I raced between multiple connections across the country. So as I processed the real possibility of missing the next connection or realized that I had lost my bag claim ticket, instead of perseverating on the stress and developing the drama of the story line, I wondered what would happen next. Befriending the moment means literally that we face all outer circumstances as though we invited them.
Today I begin my third edition of my positivity quest blog with a renewed commitment to daily writing as a vehicle for my awakening. This is the third new year that I have begun the year by committing my life to positivity. Having lost touch with the daily practice of writing as I learn in this last year has made me long to find my writing voice again in a way that will guide me to putting the last three years of learning together in a book called Life that Works- How Positivity Reinvents Us. I may just be writing it one page at a time here so please feel free to add your editorial voices and questions where I miss the mark.
Sexual health and product safety are the cornerstones of the Good Clean Love product mission. The company was created 10 years ago in response to my own personal need for intimacy products that were not made with petrochemicals and parabens. Over the years our formulations have matured into a product line that is easily tolerated by even the most sensitive tissue. We work to provide products that people with a wide range of issues, including cancer survivors, can use to enjoy the healing benefits of intimate pleasure. In fact, many of the medical professionals we work with who specialize in pelvic pain report that Good Clean Love is the one product that has a consistently high success rate among their patients dealing with a wide range of sensitivities and disease.
Years ago I studied the Course in Miracles. Actually, I just memorized the first three pages, which are the 50 principles of how miracles work. You pretty much have to be studying 50 principles all the time if you expect to be able to recall #33 out of mid air. Studying these principles all day, every day for a year created a filter for seeing the world as one continuous miracle. When you are juggling 50 of them in your head, pretty much one will apply all the time. That year I lived a magical, truly miraculous time. Although I stopped studying those principles, the truth of what I learned when I was 24 never really left me. However, I could never really tap the power of that place again until I started re-learning how miracles happen in the space of positive thinking.